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you said nothing but you were saying everything - eleanor maslin

The morning after you were put to sleep, you came to visit me in my dreams. I was carrying you through the big park behind our house that Mum and I had walked you so many times. You said nothing to me, which wasn’t unusual because you said nothing physically to me anyway because you were a dog. But in that same way actually by saying nothing all the time you were always saying everything. When I walked around with you, you were in a nice soft blanket, and you were as light as a feather -- so the expression goes. The fact that you weighed nothing made me feel uneasy because I know you weren’t your normal self, but it also made me think of you already as an angel. As I walked around seemingly aimlessly, so dreams seem to be, although they are not aimless at all.

You gave me the chance to tell you everything I loved about you so that I could say my final goodbye to you properly. I can’t remember what I told you, apart from how you were the best dog swimmer I’d ever seen and reminded me of an otter. You said nothing but you said everything just like you always did and that’s what made me know that it was you visiting me to say a final goodbye.


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