i never really
truly
understood your obsession
with speed
but i always heard you think
“how could these days go by so fast?’’
no rearview could picture what we left behind.
on days when i forget to look at the sky,
i drive past our favorite places in a car with an almost empty fuel tank.
you see,
i ought to remind myself to stop searching
for sunshine and morning breeze
in places where our love went to die.
i roll the window down
and let the wind take care of the rest
or whatever is left of it;
our fingers would dangle
outside the window with smoke escaping through the ash
like your fingers spiraled through my hair
as your words slipped on my lips
there are no songs playing
no words, no sounds
i let the tapes mix up the years
and press repeat
rewind
repeat
when you left, did you leave with the forward i so explicitly mentioned to you?
‘the aforementioned discrepancies must be tossed outside on the account of vile desire and
irrational vulnerability’ you said
when i asked you if our
nonchalant
tacit
veiled
glances meant something --
the aforementioned discrepancies must be tossed outside on the account of fear
fear makes you do a lot of things
fear made you do a lot of things
make a pit stop & leave with an abandoned car
did your eyes lose their spark where our love went to die?
my hands are still parked in the placidness of your touch,
it’s all i have ever known.
so i eulogize you, immortalize you:
drive, darling.
