elixir - shreya sivaramakrishnan

Dejection had suddenly become a way of life.

Waking up was a task.

My eyelids often gave up on me, refusing to open.

The sunshine felt like a friend who I knew once upon a time, but never bothered to check in.

Dejection had suddenly become a way of life.


It felt like the miners had successfully made a huge pit

In my stomach.

They kept digging though, never stopped.

Shoulders kept drooping,

My spine rebelled and never stayed erect.


Every Monday, I would sit in her office and tell her the same things.

There was never anything different to offer.

Sometimes I felt like I should make up a story about how I feel,

At least one of us will be amused.


I was numb, not a single emotion could be felt.

It felt like slow paralysis.

Slow but deathly.

Every night, I would stare at the bottle sitting next to my lamp.

With cold hands, I would try to pick it up

But would instantly put it back.


One night, I picked it up,

Gulped it down, in one shot.

It felt like elixir,

An out of body experience,

The only difference being,

I would never get a chance to come back into this body.


- shreya sivaramakrishnan

photo: aryan nair

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