Dejection had suddenly become a way of life.
Waking up was a task.
My eyelids often gave up on me, refusing to open.
The sunshine felt like a friend who I knew once upon a time, but never bothered to check in.
Dejection had suddenly become a way of life.
It felt like the miners had successfully made a huge pit
In my stomach.
They kept digging though, never stopped.
Shoulders kept drooping,
My spine rebelled and never stayed erect.
Every Monday, I would sit in her office and tell her the same things.
There was never anything different to offer.
Sometimes I felt like I should make up a story about how I feel,
At least one of us will be amused.
I was numb, not a single emotion could be felt.
It felt like slow paralysis.
Slow but deathly.
Every night, I would stare at the bottle sitting next to my lamp.
With cold hands, I would try to pick it up
But would instantly put it back.
One night, I picked it up,
Gulped it down, in one shot.
It felt like elixir,
An out of body experience,
The only difference being,
I would never get a chance to come back into this body.
photo: aryan nair