I think of death every night.
if death was inaayat, a blessing.
if dying was an escape from this cruel, dying world.
I think of death every night.
if death was earthquakes, landslides, fire from hell.
if dying would burn my skin.
I think of death every night.
if death would swallow me like river ganges swallowed her sons and daughters.
I think of death every night.
if dying would bring me the Noor ammi always told me about.
if dying would be like sun going down, in the river ghats of Banaras.
I think of death every night.
if death was a mockingbird, singing me kun faya kun.
if dying would bring me rihayi, khud ke halato se, khud se.
I think of death every night.
if death was a ride in yellow taxi to howrah, before partition.
if dying would bring me the azadi bose had promised my ancestors.
I think of death every night.
if death was an old lover, with chameli in her hair,
aching to have my arms around her, to read her poems.
I would read her this poem.
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